i'm the light blinking at the end of the road
by SparkIntoAFlame
Summary: or: Five Times Simon and Bram Said "I Love You" and the One Time They Didn't Have To / with Leah On The Offbeat knowledge / title from Panic! At The Disco song "Always"
1. i: we gotta be starting something

So maybe the kitchen wasn't the most comfortable place to be making out.

But, seriously, Emily, Jack, and Nora were all gone (a family party or some shit that Simon politely declined, claiming school work which garnered a sympathetic nod from his mother and an exchanged grin between his father and younger sister) and Simon would have to be a _complete moron_ to give up this opportunity.

Obviously, it wasn't _just_ school work keeping Simon home, it was also Bram asking to come over because _please, can you help me with math homework_ and big brown eyes that still managed to make Simon go weak at the knees when he attempted to explain function relations over FaceTime.

"Just...come over, I guess," Simon acquiesced, neither missing the shit-eating grin Nora gave him as she slipped on her shoes nor the growth of Bram's smile when he hung up.

"We're gonna be back late, okay?" Emily said, sweeping down to kiss Simon's cheek. "Don't stay up too late waiting for us. You have anyone coming over?"

"Uh, Bram needs help with math," Simon answered, seemingly engrossed in an essay detailing the usage of figurative language in _The Great Gatsby_.

"Okay," Emily said. "If that's all you two are going to do."

Simon glared at his mother who only smiled innocently before leading Jack (who was laughing heartily) out the door, followed by Nora who shot Simon a _look_.

Ten minutes later, the doorbell rang and Simon practically leaped ten feet in the air. Pausing the music blaring out of his phone at top volume (Sincerely, Me) he flung open the door to reveal Bram's grinning face and -

"You brought _Oreos_?"

Bram nodded, gauging Simon's reaction. Based on the smile creeping its way across Simon's face, Bram guessed that he had succeeded in providing a welcome gift to his boyfriend.

"Y'know, this almost makes up for making me do _math_ ," Simon said, shoving two Oreos in his mouth with no grace whatsoever. " _Almost_."

Bram stifled a laugh. "Yeah, well. Okay, seriously though, how the _fuck_ does a horizontal shrink work?"

Simon sighed, pointing at a number in the function. "Okay, so, when a is less than 1 then it's a stretch, and when it's more than 1…"

"...it's a shrink," Bram finished, looking up at Simon. "Okay, okay. What about when a is less than 0?"

Simon launched into an explanation about reflections and how they affected shrinks and stretches, but, honestly, Bram was more interested in watching Simon's eyes brighten and his lips move and, _damn_ if that wasn't sexy.

"...so basically you flip it over the axis and do the shrink or stretch," Simon concludes five minutes later. "Anything else?"

Bram started and glanced at the clock and then the textbook and then at the half-eaten box of Oreos. "Help me with transversals? The parallel lines ones."

"I'm your boyfriend, not your math tutor," Simon griped, flipping to the right page.

"My very smart, sweet, sexy boyfriend," Bram said in a low voice. He could make out a slight blush blooming on Simon's cheekbones.

"Shut up," Simon muttered, grinning like a fool in love. Which, he supposed, he really was.

"Make me," Bram murmured, leaning forward marginally.

"Okay," Simon smiled, getting slowly to his feet before dragging Bram up by the collar of his shirt. "Okay," he repeated, turning them so that the kitchen table was pressing into Bram's lower back.

"Yeah?" Bram challenged, eyes glinting.

Simon's response came in the form of his lips crushing into Bram's, soft and rough all at the same time, hands roaming everywhere, cascading over cloth and skin before resting at the small bit of skin peeking out from under Bram's shirt at his hips. Bram hummed quietly and pulled Simon closer, moving his lips across Simon's face and up his neck until his tongue flicked at the hollow underneath his ear and Simon had to swallow a moan.

"Br _am_ ," Simon gasped, saying Bram's name like it's a magical thing, accentuating the last two letters and letting out a soft breath of air.

Bram detached his lips from Simon's earlobe and returned to pressing against Simon's - until Simon ducked down and began his work on Bram's collarbone, a movement that had Bram letting one arm drop from its position around Simons neck to the table, gripping tightly. Simon grinned and bit lightly, eliciting a groan from Bram as Simon worked a bruise into his skin.

"We always - _fu-_ we can't - even - _f-_ _study_ ," Bram managed to force out, causing Simon to laugh quietly.

"Complaining?" Simon teased, tracing his lips over to Bram's shoulder and kissing the skin there.

" _Never_ ," Bram choked out, his hold on the table tightening and the other hand slipping up to tangle in Simon's hair.

Simon pulled back an inch and stares into Bram's eyes for a moment. "Never?"

Bram chuckled, leaning back against the table and threading his other hand through Simon's curls to join the first. "Never."

Simon kissed Bram's forehead and Bram used the opportunity to press his lips to the hollow of Simon's throat, tongue flickering out momentarily. He was rewarded with a half-curse, half-moan from Simon that had Bram beaming.

"I love you," Simon breathed, and just like that the world stopped and restarted, and stopped and restarted again.

Simon's cheeks went pink as he realized the words that had fallen past his lips. "I-I-"

Bram silenced Simon with a gentle kiss, tilting his head to the side to deepen it. Simon made some sort of muffled sound that faded into a sigh as he melted into the kiss. Bram pulled away, and Simon remained staring at Bram's chest, his hand tracing the contours of muscle.

"I love you too," Bram said, partly amused.

Simon grinned up at Bram and was about to press their lips back together when a loud barking informed them that _right, Bieber was still here_.

Simon laughed and pushed off of Bram, who stayed leaning against the table for a minute before following Simon with one thought in his head.

 _He loves me_.

 **Hi! So Bram and Simon are my absolute** _ **favorite**_ **and I had to write about them.**


	2. ii: locked away in permanent slumber

"Si?" Emily called, cracking open Simon's bedroom door. "Si, are you awa- aw, _Si._ "

Emily watched Simon shifted in his sleep, and his eyes closed marginally tighter when he faced the window. He turned onto his other side and curled into a tighter ball, tucking into Bram's chest. Their legs were tangled together and they were practically wound around each other.

Emily left the room, closing the door silently behind her. She could wake them up later.

xx

Simon sighed softly and burrowed further into the warm mass in front of him. Simon stayed that way for several minutes until his mind caught up with his body and registered that _that warm mass is a person_. Simon's eyes snapped open to the sight of Bram, still sleeping soundly beside him. He struggled between several emotions and thoughts, including _fuck, he's really cute_ and _fuck, Bram and I are both in my bed_ and _fuck, what if Mom sees_.

His thoughts were very strongly worded.

Simon attempted to move, but quickly realized that he was trapped, his legs interwoven with Bram's and Bram's arm pulling him into his chest. Simon didn't complain. He just smiled and slipped back to sleep.

xx

Bram woke up to the sound Simon's quiet breathing. He gave a small smile and merely pulled Simon closer to him and kissed him lightly on the forehead. That was enough to stir Simon out of his sleep and Bram's smile grew as Simon blinked blearily.

"Hi?" Simon groaned, shifting his legs. "I'm not hallucinating right?"

And that was so _Simon_ that Bram giggled - _giggled_ \- and shook his head.

"No, babe. No you're not."

"Good," Simon whispered, pecking Bram on the nose.

Simon placed a hand on Bram's chest and craned his neck up to kiss Bram's lips.

"Cute," Bram said quietly.

"Stop that," Simon scowled, slapping Bram's chest halfheartedly.

Bram laughed and kissed Simon again.

"I thought you were coming over just to do math homework," Simon said, pulling away just enough that their noses were just barely touching.

"I mean, I came over at like eight, and then we did other homework too, I guess. Made out two or three times," Bram teased, sitting up against the headboard.

Simon moved closer and put his head in Bram's lap. Bram's hands automatically wound through Simon's hair, slipping and sliding between his fingers. Simon grinned up at Bram. Bram felt his cheeks heat and knew that if his skin had been a few shades lighter, there would be a red tint to them.

"Hi," Simon said softly.

"Hi," Bram responded, his voice matching Simon's.

They lapsed back into a silence, broken only by their breaths.

"So…" Simon said, finally shattering the peaceful quiet.

"So," Bram repeated, eyes shuttering slightly as he looked down into Simon's eyes.

Whatever may have come after was annulled by the sound of the door opening. Simon and Bram tore their gazes away from each other to see Emily standing against the doorframe.

"Hey guys." She gave them a little wave.

Simon's cheeks burned bright red as he shot up and Bram coughed awkwardly.

"Well," Emily smirked, thoroughly enjoying their embarrassment, "Jack, Nora, and I have to leave. There's pancake batter mixed up in the pink bowl. Simon, you know where the coffee is. Bye, guys! And, please, be safe if you do anything?"

"Mo-om," Simon groaned, stretching the word to two full syllables while Bram merely sputtered incoherently.

Emily shrugged. "Can never be too careful. Have fun!" She paused. "Not too much though."

Before Simon could blurt out another protest, she left the room, waving cheerily. Simon sighed and lay back down in Bram's lap, reaching up and pulling Bram's head down to kiss him.

"I love you," Bram mumbled against Simon's lips.

Simon pulled away slightly, his lips parted in surprised. Bram could feel his heart thundering.

 _What if he can't say it?_

 _What if I just ruined everything?_

 _ **What if he doesn't love me back?**_

Simon looked into Bram's eyes, and his face melted into an expression of soft fondness.

"I love you too."

Bram let out a small noise of relief, yanking Simon up by the collar to kiss him again. Simon laughed and pushed Bram down on the bed, straddling his hips. It quickly turned heated, Simon lifting his head to draw breath for less than a second before diving back down, teeth dragging over teeth and biting bottom lips.

"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you," Bram murmured between scorching kisses.

Simon laughed breathily and sank down so that they were flush chest to chest, touching everywhere. He hooked his hands around Bram's neck.

"And I love you too, a million times over," Simon promised.

 **Sorry for the short chapter but here you are!**


	3. iii: falling for me

"Bram. Bram. Bram. It's _raining_ ," Simon says, practically jumping up and down, eyes shining with delight.

"Yes?" Bram responds, amused.

"Bram it's _raining!_ "

"A-And?"

"He gets _ridiculously_ excited about rain," Leah comments, laughing. "I mean, good luck. You're going to be outside for a while."

Bram nods, privately thinking that it wouldn't be so bad as long as he got to see Simon smile.

"Crap, I gotta go meet Abby at her locker. We on for the Waffle House double date later?"

"Yeah," Bram says. "Uh, as long as Simon is fine with it. Simon?"

"What? Huh, oh yeah, sure," Simon says, nodding absently while staring out the window.

"Bye, Leah."

"Bye, Bram, Simon."

Bram tugs lightly on Simon's arm. "Babe, let's go. Babe. C'mon, we can look at the rain up close."

Simon tears his gaze away from the rain and allows Bram to pull him outside.

"It's just so _pretty_ ," Simon explains, turning his face upwards to face the sky.

He's wearing his glasses today, and when he looks back at Bram, they're spattered with droplets of rain blocking the view of his gray eyes. Bram laughs quietly and took off Simon's glasses.

"Hey! Bram, you just blinded me," Simon complains, half-heartedly reaching for his glasses. His efforts were hindered by his continual distraction by the rain.

Bram rolled his eyes and wipes the glasses on his shirt. "Here. Better?"

Simon put the glasses back on and blinks. "Uh, yeah, wow. We should probably go to my house now, right?"

"Actually," Bram blurts out, "Do you, um, want to come over to mine? My house, I mean."

 _Dammit, Bram, this is a terrible idea._

"Oh! Yes, that would be cool," Simon agrees, taking out his phone. "I'm just gonna text my mom to let her know, okay?"

"Okay." Bram's voice has a tinge of anxiety to it, and Simon did not fail to notice it.

"I can't wait," Simon offers, giving Bram a smile.

"Yeah. Totally."

They toss their backpacks into the back of the car and Bram slams the car door closed.

"Ugh. God, we're soaked," Simon complains, looking at Bram and wincing.

Bram's eyes rove over Simon's torso where his wet shirt is clinging to his chest and abdomen and becoming slightly sheer. _Damn_.

"Eyes up here, Abraham," Simon teases and Bram's cheeks heat slightly.

He steps closer to Simon and wraps an arm around Simon's waist. "Am I not allowed to check out my very, _very_ , hot boyfriend now?"

Simon blushes bright red, but, to his credit, he keeps eye contact with Bram. "Well, I happen to know an even hotter one."

(Bless Bram's self-restraint; he isn't sure how he manages not to crowd Simon against the car door and make out with him right here and now.)

Bram opens his mouth to reply, but is cut off by a loud honk.

"YOU GUYS ARE GAAAY," Leah calls from her car as Abby cracks up next to her.

Simon laughs and hopped into the car. Bram walks around the car and waves to Leah and Abby before sliding into the driver's seat.

"You pick the music," Bram says, unlocking his phone and passing it to Simon.

Simon sets the phone down and Bram, expecting music to start thudding through the speakers of the car, starts when Simon places one hand on his thigh.

"We can go without music today," Simon says softly, tracing the line of Bram's cheekbone when they stop at a red light.

"Okay," Bram acquiesces, kissing the tip of Simon's finger when he withdraws it.

They sat in silence for a few minutes until Simon breaks the silence with the sudden declaration of "I love your smile."

Bram looks over at him for a moment. "What?"

"I know that was random, but it's so beautiful. Really. Sometimes it's super bright, but normally it's like shy and it's just...so you."

"Oh." For the second time within fifteen minutes, Bram's cheeks warm and he offers Simon one of those shy smiles.

"Exactly."

Bram pulls into his driveway and put his car in park. He takes a deep breath and covers Simon's hand still on his thigh with his own.

"I-uh, let's just go," Bram says as he steps out of the car and grabs their backpacks. "My mom's not home for a couple days. She's on a business trip."

They walk inside and Simon pauses. The house is classic, but modern. Pictures of Bram from as a baby to just a few months ago are on the wall by the staircase.

"My room's upstairs," Bram says, leading Simon up the stairs and down a hallway to a doorway on the left.

Bram visibly inhales as he turns the doorknob and Simon places a hand at his lower back.

The walls of Bram's bedroom are a pastel blue with the exception of the one behind his bed which is light green. There's a desk in the opposite corner of the room next to a window and a bookshelf is right next to the door.

"It's not much," Bram warns, letting Simon enter before flopping on the bed.

"I love it," Simon says, sitting next to Bram.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Huh." Bram's smiling brightly now, and he reaches up to pull Simon down into a kiss. "Guess I got all scared for no reason."

"Yeah. One question, though. What kind of neat-freak are you?" Simon asks, surveying the room again.

Bram laughs. "Valid question, I guess. I don't know. I just likes having everything organized."

"Is that a dig at me?" Simon gasps in mock outrage, flipping over so that he's boxing Bram in with his hands and knees.

"Is it?"

"It better not be, Abraham."

"That's the second time you used my full name today."

"You deserved it."

Bram grins and loops his arms around Simon's neck and waist. His smile fades slightly as he takes in Simon's face. Simon's happy expression turns into something soft and tender.

"I love you," Bram confesses quietly.

"I love you too," Simon intones, laying on top of Bram and kissing him deeply.

They pull apart and Bram stares at Simon again.

"What?" Simon asks.

"How did I get so lucky?" Bram says in wonder, brushing a hand over Simon's cheek.

"I ask myself that question everyday."


	4. iv: dance to this beat & hold a lover

Bram was never good at being able to stay asleep throughout the entire night. It didn't help that his sleep schedule had been completely thrown off by the late-night studying for his midterms. Simon had had the good luck of having his exams a week before Bram's and he had made the trip over from Haverford to keep Bram company as he studied. Well, he claimed it was only to keep Bram company, but Bram strongly suspects that Simon came to make sure that Bram got more than four hours of sleep a night, a fact that had slipped out over their weekly Skype call.

So, when it was a quarter after one in the morning and Bram stirred awake in his bed with Simon, all intertwined limbs and chests pressed together, he would have been lying if he said he was surprised. He gently untangled himself from Simon, pausing every now and then (read: every five seconds) to ensure that his boyfriend remained asleep.

Bram smiled slightly at Simon's sleeping face and grabbed his laptop before padding out of his room and into the kitchen. He filled a glass with water and set his things down on the table, opening the laptop to his history notes. If he was going to be awake in the middle of the night, might as well be somewhat productive.

.x.x.

His phone read 2:07 when a pair of warm arms wrapped around Bram's shoulders and a sleepy voice said, "What are you doing up?"

"Studying." Bram's voice was hoarse from lack of use and he felt Simon press his lips to the back of Bram's neck, his glasses digging into the nape of Bram's neck.

"Abraham, come back to sleep," Simon half-sang.

Bram gave him a small smile and returned with, "I have my midterm exams today."

"It's fucking 2AM."

"The test is still today."

"Bram," Simon sighed, pulling up a chair to sit next to him.

"Simon." Bram mimicked Simon's volume and tone.

Simon kissed Bram softly and said, "If you're staying up, then I am too."

And so he did. For another hour, Bram looked over his notes and typed in dates, occasionally cursing quietly when a particularly difficult question popped up. Simon sat next to him, scrolling through Instagram and Tumblr and resting his head on Bram's shoulder.

Around the 3:15 mark, Simon abruptly stood up.

"Something wrong, babe?" Bram asked, looking up from his notes on the American influence on the French revolution.

"Uh, yeah," Simon answered. "What time did you say you got up?"

Bram thought for a moment until he remembered the time that his bedside clock had flashed at him. "Like 1:15ish, why?"

"Y-you've been up for two hours studying," Simon said, a note of amused concern in his voice.

"Oh," Bram responded, unsure of what else to say. "I guess I'm just stressed."

Simon frowned and tugged Bram to his feet. "Why?"

Bram looked down. "I guess I just….I'm not really sure, I just have this weird feeling that I'm just not good enough."

Simon took Bram's hand and ran his thumb over Bram's knuckles. "Bram, you're smart and extraordinary. You got early acceptance into Columbia. Columbia. Not everyone can claim the same, or even equal."

"I know, I know, but I just wish I was better."

Bram's eyes were somewhat shiny, though Simon was unsure whether it was emotion or the reflection of the moonlight shining through the window.

"You don't have to be better," Simon whispered, letting his arms drop and wrap around Bram's waist. "Arms on my shoulders."

"Why?" Bram asked, but did as instructed.

"We're dancing."

Bram opened his mouth, but Simon made a shushing sound and started swaying.

"What are we dancing to?" Bram laughed.

Simon thought for a second and then answered, "In my mind, it's 'The World Will Know."

"Fr-from Newsies?"

"Yeah."

Bram made a sound of disbelief and shook his head. "I….you're insane." 

"You haven't stopped dancing," Simon noted. "Now shut up."

Bram complied and looked into Simon's eyes. Simon began quietly humming a tune that Bram recognized due to excessive playing of the Newsies soundtrack in the car.

About a minute in, Bram (much to his dismay) caught himself humming along with Simon who had now begun to sing quietly.

"Abraham Louis Greenfeld, are you -" Simon said teasingly.

Bram's cheeks warmed and he quietly muttered, "Shut up."

"You are," Simon gasped.

Bram began to protest but was quickly interrupted by Simon pressing his lips to Bram's.

"You worry too much," Simon said.

Bram grunted noncommittally and leaned in to kiss Simon again, longer this time and swallowing the soft sound (a groan? whimper? whatever, Bram doesn't care) that escaped Simon's mouth.

"I love you," Bram whispered when he pulled away, pressing their foreheads together with close to no space between them.

"I love you too. Now go to sleep. Your exam is in four and a half hours."


	5. v: soft hearts electric souls

Simon groaned softly, reaching out to check the time on his phone. _8:12._ He felt Bram begin to wake behind him, shifting against Simon's back.

"Good morning," Bram said, his voice rough with sleep and his breath tickling the back of Simon's neck.

"Morning," Simon sighed.

"Happy birthday, love." Bram pressed a kiss to the nape of Simon's neck.

"What?"

"Happy birthday, love," Bram repeated, a note of amusement finding its way into his voice.

"Is it actually?" Simon asked, stunned.

He had been so busy with his work and trying to grade papers that he had completely forgotten that his birthday was so soon - today, apparently.

"Mhm," Bram hummed in confirmation, turning Simon to face him. "It is."

"Oh. Thank you, then, I guess?" Simon said as Bram leaned forward and kissed him.

"You're welcome," Bram murmured. "What do you want to do?"

"I don't, uh, I don't know," Simon confessed.

Bram moves his hands down Simon's bare torso and his lips down Simon's neck. "We could stay in bed for now."

Simon shivered slightly as Bram sucked lightly on his collarbone. "Yeah. Yeah, let's do that."

Bram pushed Simon on to his back and raised himself on his hands and knees, boxing Simon in. He kissed down Simon's chest, coaxing a slight whimper from Simon.

"Bram," Simon whined as Bram kissed along his stomach, teeth teasing at Simon's waistband. "Bram, stop fucking _teasing_ me."

Bram grinned and gladly granted Simon's request.

x.x.x

An hour and a half later, they finally left their bed and made their way into the bathroom.

"Seriously, though," Bram said through a mouthful of toothpaste, "what do you want to do?"

"I dunno," Simon answered. "We can figure it out over breakfast maybe."

"Let's do that then," Bram said. "Do you want your gift now or later?"

"My- what?"

"Your gift. Your birthday gift?"

"Oh. I thought the morning sex _was_ the birthday gift," Simon joked.

"It was one."

"Of?"

"Several." Bram responded with such a deadpan look that Simon couldn't tell if he was joking. "The second one is downstairs and it's edible."

Simon walked out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist before pecking Bram on the cheek. "Wait for me?"

Bram pulled on a shirt and checked his phone. "Yeah, I will."

Five minutes later, Simon and Bram were sitting next to each other and eating a stack of Oreo pancakes.

"How do these even exist?" Simon marveled.

"I'm just glad that they do," Bram answered. "You have an idea of what you want to do?"

Simon opened his mouth to answer only to be interrupted by his phone buzzing several times in quick succession. He opened his recent notifications to find no less than seventeen messages that said some version of "Happy birthday, Simon." Bram laughed.

"Uhh, maybe we could see a movie or something?" Simon suggested.

"Sounds fun. Which movie?" Bram asked, opening the local listing on his phone.

"What's the first one listed?"

" _Ocean's 8._ "

"Sounds good, let's go."

They piled their dishes into the sink, Bram swearing to do them once they get back. They went to the car and Simon pulled out the keys to unlock it and-

"What. The. Fuck."

A bouquet of roses lay on the hood of the car along with a very large teddy bear holding a heart-shaped sign reading "Happy Birthday!"

"Bram?" Simon turned to his boyfriend who smiled semi-guiltily.

"Do you want to put them inside?" Bram asked.

"No, no it's okay. Keep them in the backseat," Simon said, starting to laugh.

"What?"

"Morning sex, Oreo pancakes, roses, a giant-ass teddy bear. How are you going to outdo those presents?"

Bram only smiled and climbed into the driver's seat. Simon slid into the passenger side and leaned back.

"Music?" Bram offered, handing Simon his phone.

Simon scrolled through the music before deciding on a song that filled the car with pounding bass and Brendon Urie's voice.

"God bless Brendon Urie," Simon muttered, fumbling for Bram's hand.

Bram accepted Simon's hand and held it for the rest of the way to the movie theater.

x.x.x

"Iconic," Simon announced.

Bram nodded in agreement and looked at his phone. "It's almost 12. Do you wanna get lunch?"

"Yeah," Simon said. "Where should we go?"

"It's your birthday."

"Anywhere."

Bram grinned and opened the car door for Simon. "I know the perfect spot."

"Waffle House?" Simon said in amusement.

"We can go somewhere else-"

"No, no, WaHo is perfect. I'm just surprised you thought of it."

"You're surprised I thought of our old high school hangout spot?"

Simon opened his mouth to reply and then closed it, opting instead to kiss Bram briefly on the lips.

x.x.x

After Waffle House, Bram took Simon to the aquarium, almost obsessively looking at the time.

"Do you wanna go home now?" Bram said, looking at Simon.

"Yeah," Simon responded, hooking an arm around Bram's waist. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For this whole birthday thing. Taking me out. Giving me presents."

Bram smiled softly and kissed Simon. "Come on."

x.x.x

They pulled up to the driveway, and the first thing Simon noticed was the five new cars in the street.

"Those cars look kinda familiar," he noted to Bram.

"Don't worry about it," Bram said, steering Simon to the front door which swung open easily despite Simon knowing that he had locked it before they left.

"SURPRISE!"

Simon yelped in shock as the voices of Leah, Abby, Nick, Garrett, his parents, Nora, Alice, and Theo rang out into the entrance hallway.

"What the- how-" Simon stuttered.

"Surprise, babe," Bram murmured behind him.

Simon whirled around to see Bram's shy grin. "Did you do this?"

"Maybe," Bram said with a shrug. "I wanted to do something for you."

Simon laughed in delight and threw his arms around Bram's neck. "Thank you."

x.x.x

A few hours later, everyone was sitting in the living room in various spots. Leah was laying on the sofa with her head in Abby's lap, talking to Nora. Nick and Garrett were engaged in a conversation about football. Simon and his parents were chatting about his cousin's upcoming wedding.

"So, I don't know if I will bring Bram because great-aunt Susan's going to be there," Simon said, tapping his knee.

"Oh, she's only one person," Jack reassured Simon. "Bring Bram. You know Alexis wants to meet him."

Simon didn't get a response out before a pair of arms wrapped around his shoulders and his mother's mouth turned up in a grin.

"Hey," Bram whispered.

"Hey yourself," Simon said. "We were talking about whether or not I should bring you to Alexis's wedding."

"Because Susan?"

"Because Susan."

"I told you I don't mind and you said you didn't care. I'll come if you want me to."

"Alexis wants to meet you," Emily informed Bram.

"Then I can come," Bram said, looking at Simon.

"Oh, good. I wanted you to," Simon admitted.

"Didn't Bram just say that you said that you didn't care?" Jack raised an eyebrow.

Simon shushed his father and smiled at Bram.

"Thank you for everything," he said quietly so that only Bram heard. "The party, coming to the wedding. I love you."

Bram kissed Simon's cheek and answered back, "I love you too."


	6. i: blink back to let me know

It started with a Tumblr post that turned into emails that turned into "Love, Jacques" and "Love, Blue" that turned into "please, I'm so sorry, stay, stay, Blue, stay" that turned into "I'm sorry I left" that turned into "I love you."

It started with one closeted gay boy that was too scared to tell anyone who he was in person, that was too scared to come out and be out and be loud and be proud, that was black and Jewish. It started with another closeted gay boy who stumbled upon a confession by way of word of mouth, who went through hell and back, clinging to hope that Blue would come back.

It continued with Bram on one knee, a silver wedding band in a black box in his hand. It continued with Simon gasping and the magical words ("Will you marry me?) gracing his ears. It continued with Simon babbling his response through sobs ("Of course, of course, yes, forever, yes, please, yes").

It continued with wedding nerves and Simon near-hyperventilating while Jack sat next to him and shot panicked looks at Nick who was trying not to laugh his ass off. It continued with Bram frantically pacing the room and Elijah and Garrett looking on with barely-veiled amusement.

It continued with Bram making his way down the aisle and then turning and seeing Simon walk down. It continued with the people in the front row hearing a quiet (near-silent) gasping kind of sob emerge from the depths of Bram's chest. It continued with Simon walking down the aisle and holding Bram's hands tightly at the altar and whispered vows that only they hear.

It went on with conversations about children and searching for homes. It went on with moving and the possibly-definitely-mistake of enlisting Nick, Abby, Leah, and Garrett to help them move. It went on with adoption agents and papers and foster children and then they found Emma.

It went on with tickle fights and lazy Sunday mornings interrupted by a five-year-old girl leaping into their bed with the shout of "Dad! Papa! Wake up!" It went on with pancakes with extra chocolate chips for one, rainbow sprinkles for two, and maple syrup for all. It went on with homework and work-work and laughter and the occasional small argument (because what family doesn't have those) and the one or two fights that left tempers boiling and culminated with apologizing and hugs and kissing until Emma saw and yelled "Ew! Kissing!" and then cue the laughter.

A year ago, it was curled up on a couch, Simon's toes poking at the underside of Bram's thigh. It was a sixteen-year-old Emma sitting by herself in the loveseat, biting her lip as she contemplated what she was about to tell her dads. It was Emma clearing her throat and quietly saying "Dad? Papa? Can we talk?" It was Bram closing his laptop because Emma was nervous and if there was one thing their daughter wasn't it was nervous because Emma was always sure and confident. It was Simon setting aside his book and sitting up straight because this was important and Emma looked on the verge of tears.

It was Emma clearing her throat again and choking out the words "I'm bisexual" and holding her breath as her dads processed her words. It was Bram making his way over, quickly followed by Simon, enveloping Emma in a hug and murmuring that "You love whoever the fuck you want to love, sweetheart." and then Bram pulling out of the hug and looking scandalized before hitting Simon lightly on the arm and saying "Language!"

Seven months ago, it was Emma bringing a boy home and introducing her as "my friend, Jake." It was Simon exchanging a knowing look with Bram and neither of them being surprised when they caught the two teens kissing in the driveway before Jake left. It was Emma being scared and Simon laughing and Bram giving her a talk about "we don't mind if you date, just use protection." and Emma being mortified.

Five months ago, it was Emma coming home with tears in her eyes and Bram setting down his book and Simon asking "what's wrong?" It was Emma bursting into giant, hiccuping sobs about how she had come out to Jake and he had been disgusted and promptly broke up with her before she could break up with him. It was Bram looking at Simon in disbelief and Simon echoing the look before looking back at their daughter and hugging her tightly and whispering that "it'll be okay, darling, you're gonna be okay because you're strong, yeah?" It was Bram swearing that he and Uncle Garrett were going to go beat Jake up that forced a watery laugh from Emma's throat. It was Simon shaking his head and saying that "I bet Cassie is on her way to beat Jake's ass right now." because Emma had a knack for making the best kinds of friends.

Two months ago, it was Cassie beginning to come over quite a lot and Emma eventually sitting down at dinner and announcing "I may have asked Cassie out." It was Bram dropping his fork in excitement and Simon grabbing Bram's hand when Emma smiled a wide, wide smile and confirmed that "she said yes!" It was Simon letting out a cheer and Bram clapping. It was Simon declaring that they must celebrate this occasion and bringing out a box of Halloween Oreos - Bram's favorite, because he remembered, after all those years (that fact is not lost on Bram who pays Simon back in turn later that night).

Right now, it is Emma upstairs, speaking quietly over FaceTime to her girlfriend and Simon and Bram curled up on the loveseat watching The Princess Bride on Netflix for what seems to be the millionth time. It is Bram kissing Simon on the nose and Simon grinning like a fool as the unsaid words pass between them. It is soft look that comes over Emma's face when she comes downstairs - glasses on, long brown hair in a messy bun, and the FaceTime call still going - and finds her dads asleep as Inigo Montoya delivers his famous line. It is the draped blanket over Bram and Simon's shoulders and leaves them to sleep, because tomorrow is Saturday and they both managed to take a day off together.

It is the family that they created and the love that they share.

fin.


End file.
